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The car conversation

A car is how a person gets to the doctor, the store, and everyone they know. That is why this talk is hard. It is also why it goes better as a change you plan than as an announcement you make. There are more middle steps than most families know about.

The warning signs NIA lists

If you cannot watch the person drive, the National Institute on Aging (NIA) says to watch for these signs:[1]

  • More than one crash, near misses, or new dents and scrapes on the car.
  • Two or more traffic tickets or warnings in the last two years.
  • Car insurance going up because of driving problems.
  • Neighbors or friends saying the driving is erratic, unsafe or aggressive.
  • Being anxious about driving at night.
  • Health problems that affect driving, including seeing, hearing and moving.
  • Complaints about the speed, lane changes or actions of other drivers.
  • A doctor saying they should change their driving habits or stop.

NIA treats these as reasons to get the driving checked, not as a score. It says plainly that there is no one age to quit driving.[1] NHTSA, the federal highway safety agency, says the same: decisions about driving should never be based on age alone.[3]

The middle steps, before you talk about the keys

  • A driving check-up by a specialist. NIA suggests having driving skills checked by a driving rehabilitation specialist, an occupational therapist or another trained professional. It says the American Occupational Therapy Association (AOTA) keeps a national list of driving specialists, and notes there may be fees.[1] AOTA's list is public, and it answers questions at driverhelp@aota.org.[2] A check-up can suggest limits, retraining or equipment, not just stopping. What it cannot do is certify that someone is safe.
  • A self-test. NIA points to NHTSA's online self-test as a way for drivers to judge their own skills. It also suggests asking family and friends for honest feedback.[1]
  • CarFit. Free community events where trained volunteers check how well a driver fits their car: mirrors, seat height, reach to the pedals.[5] It checks fit and seating. It is not a driving test, and it does not say if someone should still be driving.
  • A driver safety course. NIA notes that some insurance companies lower the bill when a driver finishes one, and names AARP as a place to find a course nearby. Ask your own insurance company before you count on a discount.[1]
  • Limits the driver chooses. Daylight only, familiar streets, no highways, routes with few left turns, and staying off the road in bad weather are all in NIA's own tips for safe driving.[1] Treat them as ways to lower risk. None of them proves that a given driver is still safe.

Dementia changes this

NIA says that in the early stages of Alzheimer's or another dementia, some people can keep driving. But as memory and judgment get worse, they will likely need to stop. It also says people with dementia often do not know they are having trouble driving. So family and friends need to watch and act on what they see, such as the person forgetting how to get to familiar places. Then they should work with the health care team to tell the person it is no longer safe.[1]

That is why the usual advice — wait until the person sees the problem themselves — does not work here.

What a doctor and a DMV can do

The doctor can check the patient, advise them to stop driving, and send them for a driving check-up.[1]

The DMV is where every state is different, and the differences are what matter. Who is allowed to report a driver? Is the report kept private? Must doctors report? What does the state do next? NHTSA publishes a summary of each state's driver's license rules, including renewal rules and limits tied to age. It notes that some states put limits on drivers at a certain age.[3] We are not going to sum up fifty states in a sentence. Your state DMV's own page on medical reviews has the final word. Read it before anyone makes a report.

What only your state and county can tell you

Two things here are decided locally: how your state reviews a driver's health, and what rides exist after driving ends. Here is who has those answers.

Who to ask: your state DMV's medical review office; your Area Agency on Aging for rides for seniors (1-800-677-1116).

What to ask them:

  • How does someone ask for a driver to be re-tested for medical reasons in this state? Is the name of the person who asks kept private?
  • Must doctors here report some diagnoses to the DMV? Does a diagnosis lead to a re-test?
  • What rides for seniors exist in our county? Do they go to medical appointments?
  • Are there volunteer drivers or lower-cost ride programs? Is there a waiting list?

Free local help. Your Area Agency on Aging will talk through your choices with you for free. Find yours through the federal Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov (run by the Administration for Community Living).[4] To learn about the four kinds of local helpers and what each one does, see Who helps me locally.

Quick answers

What are the warning signs an elderly parent should stop driving?

The National Institute on Aging (NIA) lists these signs: more than one crash, near misses, or new dents and scrapes; two or more tickets or warnings in the last two years; car insurance going up because of driving; neighbors or friends saying the driving is erratic or unsafe; being anxious about driving at night; health problems that affect seeing, hearing or moving; complaints about other drivers' speed and lane changes; and a doctor saying to change or stop driving. NIA treats these as reasons to get the driving checked. It says there is no one age when someone should stop. [1]

Can a doctor report an elderly driver to the DMV?

Each state sets its own rules, and they differ a lot: who can report, if the report is kept private, and what the DMV does next. NHTSA, the federal highway safety agency, publishes a summary of each state's driver's license rules. Your own state DMV's page on medical reviews has the final word for your situation. A doctor can always check the patient, advise them to stop, and send them for a driving check-up. [1, 3, 4]

How do you take car keys away from an elderly parent?

Take the question off your own opinion and put it on a check-up. NIA points to driving rehabilitation specialists and occupational therapists. It says the American Occupational Therapy Association keeps a national list of them. There may be fees. NIA also suggests self-tests, a driver safety course, and asking family and friends for honest feedback. Set up other rides before the driving ends. Not being able to get to appointments and errands is the real loss. [1, 2]

Sources and what they support

Sources checked 2026-09-19 using AI-assisted editorial research. This is a source check, not a clinical review.

  1. National Institute on Aging, safe driving for older adults. Supports the full warning-signs list quoted here, the statement that there is no one recommended age to quit, the referral to driver rehabilitation specialists and the AOTA directory with possible fees, the NHTSA self-assessment, the insurance-discount note for driver safety courses, the driving tips used as self-chosen limits, and the dementia section including that people with dementia often do not recognize their own driving problems. These are warning signs and suggestions; NIA sets no threshold at which a person must stop, and none of this is an assessment of any individual driver.
  2. American Occupational Therapy Association, driving and community mobility. Supports the existence of a searchable driver practitioner directory and the driverhelp@aota.org contact. Credentials, what an evaluation includes, and what it recommends vary by provider and by state; an evaluation cannot guarantee that a driver is safe.
  3. NHTSA, older drivers. Supports that decisions about driving should never be based on age alone, that some state DMVs restrict drivers at a certain age, and that NHTSA publishes a summary of state driver-licensing provisions. It is a federal overview and is not a substitute for your own state's current rules.
  4. Administration for Community Living, Eldercare Locator. Supports the referral route to a local Area Agency on Aging. Which transportation services a given agency offers, and whether it has funding, varies locally.
  5. CarFit. Supports the program's existence and its purpose as a vehicle fit and positioning check run by trained volunteers. This is the program's own site; CarFit is explicitly not a driving-skills or safety certification, and event availability is local.

Removed in this pass, for want of a verified source for each state named: that all states allow physician reports, that most allow family requests, and that California, Oregon and Pennsylvania mandate certain physician reports with California specifically mandating dementia reporting. State medical-review rules change and are the one thing on this page worth reading at the source.

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