Where to start › When a parent moves in › Your job and the care
Your job and the care
The dramatic version is quitting a career to care for a parent. The common version is quieter. Late because the morning ran long. Out of the meeting to get to the pharmacy. Saying no to the travel. Saying no to the big project. And in the end, not being considered for the thing you wanted. It happens a slice at a time, at the age when your pay and your retirement saving matter most.
What the numbers really say
A 2025 report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving says seven in ten family caregivers have a job. It says many have trouble at work and no benefits that help, and it points to 18 million who are paid by the hour.[1]
AARP's research on costs is where the price shows up. Three-quarters of the caregivers surveyed said they spend their own money on care, $7,242 a year on average. Those with two or more work problems spent $10,525 on average, almost double those with one work problem or none. Across the group, caregiving took about a quarter of yearly income, and more than half of the money went to housing.[2] Less money coming in and more going out hit in the same year. That is the part that catches people off guard.
On retirement, be careful with anyone's math, including ours. Cutting your hours can affect the money your employer adds to your retirement plan, your Social Security earnings record, and the years when savings grow the most. How much depends on your hours, your plan, your past pay and the kind of leave you take. We found no source that puts a number on it for a general reader, so we are not going to publish one. Add up your own case before you decide.
FMLA, including the parts most summaries skip
FMLA is the federal Family and Medical Leave Act. It gives workers who qualify up to 12 workweeks off in a 12-month period to care for a parent with a serious health condition. The leave is unpaid, but your job is protected. You can take it in pieces or as a shorter work schedule when that is medically needed, which is usually the way caregiving goes.[3]
There are three tests, not one, and this is where people get caught. All three must be true:[3]
- You have worked for an employer the law covers for at least 12 months. Private employers are covered if they had 50 or more workers in 20 or more workweeks this year or last year. Public agencies and public schools are covered no matter their size.
- You have worked at least 1,250 hours for that employer in the 12 months before the leave starts. That is about 24 hours a week, so part-time workers can fail this test.
- You work at a place where the employer has at least 50 workers within 75 miles. A big company with a small faraway office can fail this one.
Two definitions matter. Under FMLA, a parent means a birth, adoptive, step or foster parent, or anyone who raised you like a parent when you were a child (the law's term is "in loco parentis"). It does not include a mother-in-law or father-in-law. A spouse includes a same-sex or common-law husband or wife.[3]
Leave to care for a military service member can last up to 26 workweeks in a single 12-month period.[3]
Before you cut hours or quit
This is a list to work through, not advice on what to do. The decision is yours.
- Check if FMLA covers you using all three tests above, not the short version.
- Ask your state. The Department of Labor says state laws may protect you more than FMLA does, and some states have paid family leave.[3] Does yours? Does care for a parent count? What does it pay? Is there a waiting period? Those are state questions. Ask the state labor department. We are not going to publish a list of states that would be out of date by the time you read it.
- Ask your employer what they offer. Caregiver leave, employee help programs, flexible hours and services that help you find care often go unused because no one asked. It is fair to point out that keeping you costs less than replacing you.
- Cover the work hours so you don't have to leave. An adult day program exists partly to let a caregiver keep a job. In-home help during the workday may cost less than the pay it protects. PACE, where it is offered, puts day care and medical care together.
- If stepping back is still right, add up the full cost. Pay, your employer's retirement money, health insurance, your Social Security earnings record, and getting back in later. Read getting paid as a caregiver first. An agreement with good records can replace part of the income. One with poor records can cost the parent Medicaid later.
Free local help. Your Area Agency on Aging will talk through your choices with you for free. Find yours through the federal Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov (run by the Administration for Community Living).[4] To learn about the four kinds of local helpers and what each one does, see Who helps me locally.
Quick answers
How does caregiving affect careers and income?
A 2025 report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving says seven in ten family caregivers have a job. Many have trouble at work and no benefits that help. 18 million of them are paid by the hour. AARP's research on costs found that caregivers with two or more work problems spent $10,525 a year on caregiving on average. That is almost double those with one work problem or none. Across the three-quarters of caregivers who spent their own money, the average was $7,242. These are survey averages. They do not predict what will happen in your household. [1, 2]
Can I take leave from work to care for my parent?
A federal law called FMLA (the Family and Medical Leave Act) gives workers who qualify up to 12 workweeks off in a 12-month period to care for a parent with a serious health condition. The leave is unpaid, but your job is protected. You can take it in pieces or as a shorter work schedule when that is medically needed. There are three tests. You have worked 12 months for an employer the law covers. You have worked at least 1,250 hours in the past 12 months. And your employer has at least 50 workers within 75 miles of where you work. Under FMLA, "parent" includes a step or foster parent and anyone who raised you like a parent. It does not include a mother-in-law or father-in-law. [3]
Should I quit my job to care for my parent?
That is your decision, and no one can put a price on it for you. What you can do first is add up the parts that can be known: your pay, the money your employer adds to your retirement plan, your health insurance, your Social Security earnings record, and how hard it would be to get back in. Then check what you have not used yet: FMLA, any paid leave program in your state, benefits from your employer, an adult day program or paid help during work hours, and a caregiver contract that could legally replace part of your income. The Department of Labor notes that state laws may protect you more than FMLA does, so ask your state labor department. [3]
Sources and what they support
Sources checked 2026-09-19 using AI-assisted editorial research. This is a source check, not legal, tax or financial advice.
- AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving, Caregiving in the US 2025. Supports that seven in ten family caregivers are employed, that many face disruptions and lack supportive benefits, and the figure of 18 million hourly wage workers. These are national survey findings about a population that includes people caring for adults or children; they describe a group, not any individual's odds. An earlier version of this page said roughly one in three caregivers makes major work adjustments; we could not confirm that share on the report page and have removed it.
- AARP, family caregivers' high out-of-pocket costs. Supports the $7,242 average reported by three-quarters of those surveyed, the $10,525 average among caregivers with two or more work-related disruptions and that this is almost double those with no or one, the quarter-of-income figure, and that more than half of spending went on housing. This is survey self-report from AARP's study, it is an association between work disruption and spending rather than proof that one causes the other, and the amounts are not adjusted to today's prices.
- US Department of Labor, Family and Medical Leave Act. Supports the 12-workweek entitlement and the 26 weeks for military caregiver leave, intermittent and reduced-schedule leave when medically necessary, all three eligibility tests (12 months, 1,250 hours, 50 employees within 75 miles), the covered-employer definitions including public agencies and local educational agencies regardless of size, the definition of parent including in loco parentis and excluding parents-in-law, the inclusion of same-sex and common-law spouses, and that state laws may provide greater protections. It is federal guidance; how a specific employer applies it, and what a state adds, are separate questions.
- Administration for Community Living, Eldercare Locator. Supports the referral route to a local Area Agency on Aging for free options counseling. Which services an agency offers varies locally.
Removed in this pass, for want of a source: the claim that one in three caregivers makes major work adjustments; the quantified retirement chain presented as research; and a citation to a 1990 caregiving-stress abstract that is behind a CAPTCHA and could not be re-opened.