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The costs nobody itemizes
It never comes as one bill. It comes as the grab bars, the co-pay, the special food, the adult diapers and pads added to every grocery run, the higher power bill from a warmer house, the gas for the fourth appointment this month. No single receipt looks like much. Researchers asked caregivers to add it up.
The numbers, and who was asked
AARP surveyed about 2,380 family caregivers between March 15 and April 25, 2021. It used a survey plus a one-week spending diary, then worked out what that would come to over a year.[1] What it found:[1][2]
- Nearly eight in ten said they regularly spend their own money on care. Five percent said they spend none.
- The typical yearly total was $7,242, which came to 26% of the caregiver's income on average.
- More than half of all the money went to housing costs. Medical costs — doctors, therapy, equipment — were about 17%.
- Counted by how many caregivers had each kind of cost, not by how much was spent: about half had household costs, 30% paid rent or mortgage costs and 21% paid for changes to the home.
- About a third said caregiving caused two or more problems at work. That group spent $10,525 a year on average, almost double the caregivers with one work problem or none. About half had money trouble: cutting back on spending, using up savings, or putting less away for retirement.
AARP also reports that the strain falls harder on Latino and African-American caregivers, and on younger caregivers who have had less time to build up savings. That is how the study describes it. It is not a dollar figure we can give you.
Two honest limits. This is a 2021 survey of one group of family caregivers, so prices have changed and your household is not the average. And an earlier version of this page gave separate averages for caregivers who share a home (about $8,600) and for dementia care (over $10,000). We could not find those in the source, so they are gone.
None of this is here to scare anyone. It is here because caregivers often blame themselves for money trouble, as if they managed badly. In fact it is the recorded, average experience of doing this job.
Where some of it comes back
- Your Area Agency on Aging, first (1-800-677-1116). The National Family Caregiver Support Program pays for five kinds of help through state and local aging offices: information; help getting services; counseling, support groups and training; respite care; and a small amount of other help.[3] Note what that is and is not. It pays for services. It does not pay back your receipts. Local programs decide who they take and what they offer. Ask what exists where you live and if you would pay part of the cost. See who helps me locally.
- Getting paid for the care itself. AARP says all 50 states and the District of Columbia have a form of Medicaid long-term care that lets the person choose their own caregiver (often called "self-directed" care). This is how a family member can be paid when the person qualifies. What it is called and who qualifies differ by state.[4] If your parent has money of their own, a properly written caregiver contract is the right way to be paid. Doing it with no paperwork can cost them Medicaid later, which is why that page exists.
- Tax breaks. If your parent counts as your dependent, two things can matter at tax time: the Credit for Other Dependents, and being able to claim medical bills you pay for them. The IRS has exact tests for how much support you give and how much income they have. Take it to a tax preparer with real numbers: what you paid, for what, and your parent's income.
- Veterans' benefits. If your parent is a veteran or a veteran's surviving spouse, the veterans page covers Aid and Attendance. Caregiver contracts covers the VA's caregiver program and the 70% disability rating it requires.
- Keep records from now on. Every program above, every tax deduction, and any future claim under the caregiver child exemption depends on records. Lodestone's free care log worksheet is made for this: costs, hours and tasks, month by month, in a form a program office or attorney can use.
Free local help. Your Area Agency on Aging will talk through your choices with you for free. Find yours through the federal Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov (run by the Administration for Community Living).[5] To learn about the four kinds of local helpers and what each one does, see Who helps me locally.
Quick answers
How much do family caregivers spend out of pocket?
AARP surveyed about 2,380 family caregivers between March 15 and April 25, 2021. Nearly eight in ten said they regularly spend their own money on care. The typical yearly total was $7,242. That came to 26% of caregivers' income on average. About a third said caregiving caused two or more problems at work, and that group spent $10,525 a year on average, almost double the others. These are 2021 results from one group of caregivers. They are not a current estimate for your household. [1, 2]
What do caregivers spend the money on?
In AARP's study, more than half of all the money went to housing costs. Medical costs — doctors, therapy, equipment — were about 17%. Counted by how many caregivers had each kind of cost: about half had household costs, 30% paid rent or mortgage costs, 21% paid for changes to the home, and 5% had no costs at all. The rest is spread across rides, food, supplies and personal items. That is why the total builds up without ever looking like a bill. [1, 2]
Can I get reimbursed or paid for caregiving expenses?
There are some ways, but none of them pays back your costs in general. The National Family Caregiver Support Program pays for respite, counseling, training, help getting services and a small amount of other help, through state and local aging offices. Call your Area Agency on Aging at 1-800-677-1116 and ask what is offered and if you would pay part of the cost. All 50 states and DC have some form of Medicaid program that lets the person choose their own caregiver, which can pay a family member when the person qualifies. You may get a tax break if your parent is your dependent. And veterans' families should look at the VA programs. Every one of these depends on records. [3, 4]
Sources and what they support
Sources checked 2026-09-19 using AI-assisted editorial research. This is a source check, not tax or financial advice.
- AARP Research, Caregiving Out-of-Pocket Costs Study (2021). Supports the sample of about 2,380 family caregivers and the field dates of 15 March to 25 April 2021, that nearly eight in ten reported routine out-of-pocket expenses with 5% reporting none, the $7,242 typical annual total, the 26%-of-income figure, the category counts (about half with household-related expenses, 30% rent or mortgage, 21% home modifications, 17% medical), that about a third reported two or more work-related strains averaging $10,525, that about half experienced financial hardship, and AARP's statement that strain was greater on Latinos and African-Americans and on younger caregivers. A 2021 survey of a sample of family caregivers using a one-week diary annualised — not current prices, not all households, and an association between work strain and spending rather than proof of cause. It does not give separate averages for co-resident or dementia caregivers, which is why those figures have been removed from this page.
- AARP, family caregivers' high out-of-pocket costs. Supports that more than half of all reported spending went on housing costs, the $7,242 average reported by three-quarters of those surveyed, the quarter-of-income figure, and the $10,525 average among caregivers with two or more work-related disruptions being almost double those with none or one. AARP's own summary of the study above; the amounts are 2021 self-report and are not adjusted to today's prices.
- ACL, National Family Caregiver Support Program. Supports the five funded service categories including respite and expressly limited supplemental services, that funding goes as grants to states and territories, the eligible caregiver groups, and the Title IIIE basis. It funds services delivered through state and local aging networks; it is not a reimbursement scheme for a family's receipts, and local programs set intake, priority and availability.
- AARP, you can get paid as a family caregiver. Supports that all 50 states and the District of Columbia offer a version of self-directed Medicaid long-term-care services, and that caregivers are legally required to report wages as taxable income. Whether a particular person is eligible, and whether a relative may be hired, is a state Medicaid question.
- Administration for Community Living, Eldercare Locator. Supports the referral route to a local Area Agency on Aging. What any agency funds this year varies by county.
Corrected in this pass: the claim that the caregiver-support program funds respite and supplies "through every AAA" and "puts some of it back", which overstates a grant-funded service program as a reimbursement; the separate co-resident and dementia spending averages, which we could not find in the source; and "most states" for self-directed Medicaid, which AARP puts at all 50 and DC.